I shared a room with my sister growing up. Our brothers’ rooms were right at the end of the hallway next to ours. At bedtime, my dad would stand outside our doors and say a “Hail Mary”. Our small voices would repeat each line after him.
After he walked away, I would always pray that I could be like Mary. I told God that I would be courageous enough to do whatever He wanted me to do, and I asked him to use me for something great, like he did with Mary.
As I grew up, life took some twists and turns, and I realized it’s not always very easy to know what God is asking of me. I spent more time doubting and questioning than I did saying, “I am the handmaid of the Lord.”
Through all the doubting and questioning, I still imagined that prayerful decisions I made in my life would fill me with an overwhelming sense of peace and allow me to reflect on how all my previous experiences have led me to fulfill the purpose God has for me.
Last Sunday in church was one of those occasions.
I have sang “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary” countless times in life, but that song takes on a different meaning at 17 weeks pregnant. This Sunday in church, I fully recognized that God has indeed prepared me to be a Sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true. He is using me and my body to fully create another human.
With thanksgiving, I’ll be a living, sactuary, all for you.
Sometimes we don’t know where we are going…or what we are praying toward…but somehow it all comes together. And that’s when we get a glimpse into God’s plan.