There is some strange thing about pregnancy that makes people feel like they can ask really personal questions. Although I love being pregnant, I kind of hate how I feel like everyone around me is thinking about how my body is changing. The best way to deal with it is to laugh it off so that I don’t go home every night and eat a pint of ice cream to repress the awkward conversations about my boobs with complete strangers. So, in the spirit of pregnancy humor to deal with my emotions, here are:

{that have all been said to me}

We’re emotional for God’s sake!

1. Are you sure you aren’t having twins?

2. When’s your due date? In three months?! I thought you were going to say ‘next week’.

3. Wow! You have really grown over the past week. Especially your face.

4. Have you noticed how huge your boobs have gotten? I bet you can’t see your feet because your boobs are so big.

5. I think you’re having a girl because they say girls steal all your beauty.

6. I think you’re having a girl because you are carrying very wide in the abdomen.

7. They say your hair is supposed to get shinier with the prenatal vitamins…are you taking your vitamins?

8. Was this planned?

9. Let me see how swollen your feet are.

10. How often do you pee?

And to hear what it’s like in a pregnant hormonal mind, here were my reactions to the questions:

1. In my mind: Pretty sure they have technology to tell you if you’re having twins, Jack Ass.
Out loud: Well, the ultrasound only showed one!

2. In my mind: Thanks a lot for calling me fat.
Out loud: Yeah, well hopefully it goes quick.

3. In my mind: …(I was speechless)
Out loud: … (I was speechless)

4. In my mind: Sir, every woman wears a bra fitted to a certain size, so how would I even get dressed in the morning without realizing the size of my girls!? I don’t need you to point it out.
Out loud: I can still see my feet. And tie my shoes.

5. In my mind: You’re not pregnant, who stole your beauty?
Out loud: Yeah, maybe! A girl would be fun!

6. In my mind: Ouch.
Out loud: Yeah, maybe! A girl would be fun!

7. In my mind: Okay, I get it, people. I don’t have shiny hair and maybe a small fetus is somehow sucking out all my beauty.
Out loud: Don’t miss a day!

8. In my mind: You’re asking if my husband and I check “have baby” off a to-do list like it’s a chore?
Out loud: We are so happy to be pregnant.

9. In my mind: What kind of person wants to look at someone’s feet?
Out loud: I only show those at the circus!

10. In my mind: I feel like I’m peeing right now.
Out loud: I need to use the restroom.

With 12 weeks to go, I am sure there will be many more of these gems–I’ll keep you posted so I don’t cry myself to sleep after my nightly pint of ice cream and bra shopping.