Our daycare thinks Davey is the bees’ knees. He is. I know that I really lucked out with him (see here for more on that). But what has become alarming to me is how much he is praised for being a great father (he is a great father) for doing basic things any parent should do.

Take for example the little adventure he had with Seton a few weeks ago. The daycare called to let us know Seton had a low grade fever and may be showing some signs of an ear infection. They happened to reach Davey first. Davey decided he might as well pick Seton up and bring her in to the doctor. (Davey later admitted he did this so he didn’t have to hear me worrying about her that evening and wondering if we should schedule an appointment. Well played, kind sir.) Davey brought her to doctor, the presumed ear infection was ruled out, and Seton returned to daycare to happily shriek her way through the day as she so often does. When I picked her up from daycare, the staff commented on what a great father Davey is. He came right away. He took her to the doctor! He loves her! Ill be the first to tell you Davey is an amazing father. But I have to wonder if it were me–the mother–who picked her up to bring her to the doctor, would the reaction have been the same? Would they have told Davey what a great mother I was? We will never know, but for the purpose of this post and all logic and rationality—no. No, they would not have said that. Because for some reason (we all know what that reason is, let’s be honest), it’s surprising to the world when a father steps up and parents.

Since I can use this blog to air out my tangents, I also want to stop this trend of people asking me if my husband is “baby-sitting” or is going to “baby-sit.” If I go to get my hair cut, the stylist asks, “who is with the baby? Is your husband babysitting?”

No. My husband does not baby-sit. He fathers. He parents. I don’t pay him by the hour. He loves our child and cares for her because of his love. Because he chose this responsibility. Just like me.

Let’s stop holding men to such low standards, and maybe they will live up to higher ones.


2 Comments on On the standards of fatherhood

  1. yes it drives me nuts when people say the Dad is babysitting. I’m with you, and Todd would say it too…he’s being a Dad. He is fully capable of taking care of our children. Unfortunately, even our own kids forget that and still go to me when Daddy is standing right next to them. :). I do think we are lucky, a lot of Daddy’s are not as involved.

    • We are SOOOO lucky!! Davey is an awesome dad! It’s a shame more dads aren’t involved–that’s why it’s so surprising to people when there is a dad that IS involved! Can’t wait for Mike & Kim and Mindy & Gary’s little ones to arrive!

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