Category: Marriage

Monday Musings |Why you should marry a good man (and what I mean by ‘good’)

The combination of a wedding at the end of this week and my husband’s birthday yesterday has me thinking of love and my husband…and how much I love my husband.

I do some really dumb things, but marrying him was one of my more brilliant ideas. Here’s why:

He knows how to say, “I’m sorry”…which ends up getting said a lot in marriage. He recognizes he isn’t perfect. He admits he’s wrong when he’s wrong.

He doesn’t let me always be right. Even though I am. (j to the k). He rarely gets really upset, so when he does, I find myself hanging my head because I know I did or said something wrong.

He’s energetic. Energy in a grown man translates to the lawn getting mowed, the groceries getting shopped, the bills getting paid, the baby getting bathed. Things get done around here. (well, he always starts them and does the hard parts, and I usually finish them)

He sees marriage as something that is more than him and me. He treats me well because he considers it his vocation, not just because he thinks I’m pretty or witty or interesting (because sometimes I’m not any of those things).

He is fearful in a manly way. He is fearful of not being able to provide and in his fear, I find stability. And he finds motivation. I know my career isn’t the only thing upholding our family financially, and that’s pretty awesome.

He respects me and tries to love me the way Christ loves me.

He talks to me. If he hates doing dishes, he tells me. If he needs to be alone and watch some show (usually with people wearing dirty brown clothes i.e. Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Peaky Blinders), he tells me so.

He thanks me for loving him. He doesn’t expect love or feel like he deserves love. He recognizes his faults and sees that I love him regardless.

Which I do. I love him so much.

Photo by Honey and Salt
Photo by Honey and Salt

I wrote about 5 Things to Consider When Looking for Mr. Right 4 months after we got married! Check it out!

Happy Father’s Day

I happen to believe I am married to the best father. I have to put it into words in hopes that other men will read this and feel called to step up to the amazing, challenging, and rewarding role of fatherhood.

Davey became a father the moment Seton was conceived. From the first time I told him I was pregnant, he honored the role of fatherhood by taking care of me–the vessel carrying his child. He always asked (and still does), “what can I do for you?” He actually recently got upset that I didn’t have anything I needed him to do! He is ready to vacuum, clean, take out trash with just a simple request.

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Davey is a father when he makes jokes, like threatening to use a go-pro during labor and delivery or pretending like swaddled infant Seton is a burrito.

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Davey is a father when he bathes Seton, every night, gently pouring water over her small, worn out body as she giggles at his expressions.

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Davey is a father when he tells me he looks forward to getting one-on-one time with Seton when I work on the weekends. When I come home she has bagel crumbs in her carseat and is still wearing her pajamas. But she is happy with a clean diaper, and I can tell she loved her day with her daddy.

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Davey is a father when he goes to work every day to make sure Seton and I are well nourished, well sheltered, and financially comfortable.

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Davey is a father when he insists we never miss mass, even if it means going at 7:30am on race day or when Seton is extra crabby.

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Davey is a father every day because he shows up. He is present in our lives. He is energized by the call to take care of us.

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I fell in love with Davey for all his amazing characteristics–ambition, humor, love, and faith–without even recognizing how much I will appreciate him as a partner in life who will raise our children.

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Where we have found peace

This is the first time I have sat down — alone, just to sit — since my last blog post.

Life has been cray to the zee.

But oh so wonderful.

April 7, we bought a house.

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Then we started packing…

On April 14, my mom came to town to stay for a week and watch Seton while Davey and I fixed up the house (when we weren’t working).

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We put her to work during Seton’s naps! (aren’t we great hosts?)

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Painting date nights are healthy for a marriage. 😉

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We spent a lot of time at Ikea.

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April 21, Grandma left, and Seton cried. I cried inside because omghowamigoingtofixthehousewithaninemonthold.

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But it was starting to come together…

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On April 24, Davey and I decided to not stress for 2 hours and watch a movie together because we wanted to enjoy the last night in our rental house. Nostalgia kicked in and it kicked hard. We regretted that immediately the next day when nothing was really packed. (but not really–I wouldn’t change that night for anything)

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April 25, we moved into the house (I also worked that day per dumb life decisions).

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April 28, Seton started at a new daycare!

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…and started wearing shoes

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…and taking steps

May 2, Seton and I took had an adventure to St. Louis.

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We also took a few/many/a million trips to Menards where Seton was mistaken for a boy day after day despite me adding more and more pink to her wardrobe each visit.

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On May 7, our front door *broke* (aka Davey played around with the locks and got them stuck), so Seton and I were locked out at the convenient hour of hunger, nap time, diaper change time, and a thunderstorm.

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On May 8, Davey went bowling with the fellas so I had a night to walk around the house and finish all the random projects he started.

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Last night, after living here 2 weeks, I unpacked our bedroom.

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And this morning, Grandpa stopped by the house during his layover!

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And here I am today. Sitting.

I’ve decided that I won’t ever respond to someone with a quick, “busy!” when asked how I am doing. Life is busy, and in our busy-ness, there is peace. The monotony of painting poured prayers on my heart of hope in the future. The lifting/carrying of boxes showed me how blessed I am for my physical abilities. The unpacking of things that have been packed for three weeks reminded me that what I really need cannot be packed in a box. It’s been an amazing month of personal growth and familial growth as Davey and I worked toward the common good of creating a home.

Jucy Lucy and Bike Races

hopkins, mn, raspberry festival

So life has been a blast lately.

We have gone out to eat, been to church breakfasts, seen more live music, and watched a bike race. We even tried our first Jucy Lucy at Matt’s Bar. (Sorry we were late, Barack!)

Remember how I said 2 weeks ago that our good cameras were packed in the hospital bag, and I wasn’t going to unpack them until they get used for baby’s first life moments? Well, they are still in the hospital bag, charged and ready with no place to go (yet).

Here is a little recap via the iPhone of our Sunday walk around Hopkins when we stumbled upon the Raspberry Festival’s bike race:

A shaky video, but at least I know my mom will like it. :) Hi, Mom!

Life Lately

lake minnetonka, wayzata

Many times in my life I have said to myself “Two more weeks.” Two more weeks until graduation. Two more weeks until moving to a new state, starting college, starting a new job, going on an exciting trip. Two more weeks until getting married, leaving on a honeymoon. Two more weeks until moving in with my husband. Two more weeks…

But thinking “two more weeks until I get to see my baby face to face…”

There’s nothing quite like that feeling.

I am sitting on that feeling now.

I hope our baby knows how much Davey and I love each other.

I keep thinking that — I guess it’s because I feel like this life — this human — was created because of that love. I want the baby to know that s/he is living because of love.

Enough mushy-gushy I suppose.

Here come a A GAZILLION pictures of our life lately. I haven’t updated in a while so pictures have just been piling up! The pictures are all iPhone photos because I dare not unpack the nice cameras from the hospital bag and use the charges on various things happening in our life, thus missing the precious first moments of baby’s life. So here is a iPhone dump for you if you ever saw one.

Davey has been doing important things in life like hooking in the car seat and vacuuming. I have been doing even more important things like getting pedicures and taking naps.

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husband vacuuming

I have also been LOVING on our little town (Hopkins, MN). There is so much to do here! Any my evening walks are absolutely gorgeous! It’s such a different town than it is in wintertime!

hopkins, MN

hopkins, mn

We even have free concerts every Thursday in a small park:

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And coming up in a couple weeks is a two weeks Raspberry Festival. When we moved here, we had no idea we chose to live in the cutest little American town that ever existed.

We have also ventured to nearby towns for art walks and festivals. Here are some pictures from the Wayzata Art Experience:

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wayzata art experience

We took a break and enjoyed the view of Lake Minnetonka that day:

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Over the fourth of July, we went to Lake Calhoun and sat on the beach reading books all day. No pictures of that time though because we were so busy with our noses in our books and people watching.

Yesterday, we went to Lake Harriet for a free concert. On our way, we spotted $2 trolley rides. If you know my husband, then you know anything that appeals to a 10 year old child will appeal to him, so we signed up for the trolley. Since no one was in line with us, I kept thinking, “well, this will be kinda romantic. A trolley ride around the lakes with my husband…” but then I quickly realized Davey would spend most of the time with his arm out the window waving to passersby. This is a perfect example of our life in public: Davey does something that I think people may think is very strange for a 28 year old man….and then they don’t think it’s strange at all. Adults were waving back to Davey with almost more joy and excitement than if they were waving back to amuse a small child.

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Once the trolley ride was over, we continued on our way to the Lake Harriet Band Shell to listen to some live music.

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So that’s our life lately. Keeping busy exploring our new city while waiting anxiously to meet our baby face to face. Life is pretty good.

Timeline

programs

March 9, 2013:
will you marry me, we're engaged, proposal

September 27, 2013:

We're married, marriage, matrimony, love,
Photo Credit Honey and Salt

November 13, 2013:
we're pregnant, pregnancy announcement

Christmas, 2013:

Christmas Day 2013 (moving to Minneapolis):
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And in 3-4 weeks, we get to meet this little one face to face!
ultrasound, baby, infant, 20weeks

Dating my husband

Lake Calhoun

Davey and I are cherishing our time together as just the two of us. In just 7 weeks we will be a family of 3! We are going on as many “dates” as we can because we have no idea what life with a baby will be like.

Last night, we scoped out the best Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, then took a walk around Lake Calhoun. This city is a completely different city in warmer weather. It’s so vibrant, cultural, adventurous, and beautiful!

Here is Lake Calhoun at sunset:

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

This morning we walked around the downtown Minneapolis Farmer’s Market. Davey asked on the way there why I love farmer’s markets but I hate the grocery store. I told him it’s mainly because it’s outside and there is better people watching. These also happen to be the only 2 reasons why I enjoy the zoo.

Look at these love birds:

farmers market

farmers market

You know you’re in the upper midwest when you see rhubarb every where you turn! Mmmmm….

farmers market

farmers market

It’s been a good weekend so far. :)

The {Grateful} Project

Photo Credit Honey and Salt

Davey told me the other day that it bothered him when I complained.

I immediately wanted to cry, call a friend, and complain about how Davey is too happy all the time. If you know Davey, then you know he never complains. He hasn’t had the easiest life, but he has never complained about any challenges he has faced. He just deals with them and moves on.

So naturally, I thought, “Sure I complain, but he is the weird one for not complaining ever.”

But then I remembered that when I chose to marry Davey, I chose to make it my life’s work to be a good person for him. I decided that I needed to work on being more positive.

As women, I think we rationalize our complaints by saying things like, “I just need to vent” or “It’s good for me to let it all out” or “I need a good cry.” I suppose there is some truth to all these statements, but maybe I take it too far sometimes. When complaining takes up the majority of my conversations, something needs to change.

But how do we, as women, find that balance between “venting” and “complaining too much.” How do we make sure we let it all out before it “bottles up”, but we don’t let it consume us?

I think it has something to do with being grateful, even in the small moments. I heard a TED talk about how gratitude leads to happiness, and I think this should be my first step in working to spend less time complaining. I need to recognize the things in my life that I am grateful for and focus on them.

I have to work Memorial day, but thank God I have a job.
I live in a city where I have yet to meet a group of friends, but thank God my husband is a good friend to me.
My feet hurt at the end of the day and my back aches from bending over to set up obstacles for my patients, but thank God for giving me the opportunity to carry a child.
I miss seeing my Grandma on a regular basis, but thank God I can still call her whenever I want.
I have student loans coming out of my ears, but thank God for the opportunity to make people feel better every day.
The highway I take to work is closed, and it now takes me twice as long to get to work, but thank you God for showing me the back roads of Minneapolis.

When I think of things this way, I really have nothing to complain about.

Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt

A weekend for the books

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I am officially starting to enjoy it in the great north (is Minnesota the great north?) This may coincide with the fact that we have officially gone one whole month without snow. That’s HUGE. I was beginning to get stir crazy. I even told Davey, “If it snows one more time, I am making the executive family decision…we’re moving.” I guess God doesn’t want us to move because once I said that, it stopped snowing.

To celebrate the weather and opportunity to be outside without the threat of frost bite on any exposed skin, we packed our car with a weekend full of pulled pork, snacks, beers, and games and headed to a cabin in the middle of no where. Quite literally, the middle of nowhere– although we did have an interesting neighbor named Neil with a dog that we eventually nick-named Dirty Murphy. We met up with our friends Matt and Toi (they’re getting married!) and spent our days hiking, playing Cards Against Humanity, and talking about anything and everything. It was a blast, and I may or may not have teared up when we left because I just didn’t want to leave…Some weekends are just like that. If I could bottle it up and step into the bottle on any given day to relive it, I would.

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St. Louis has my heart

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There is nothing like time spent with friends that refuels the soul. This past weekend was one that makes me day dream at work and count down the weeks until I get to see them all again. Not to mention, watching one of my best friends marry an incredible man is a dream come true. I literally cried my eyes out watching her walk down the aisle– after getting married last September, I feel so much joy for my friends when they share that moment with their husband—locking eyes as they walk down the aisle with all their loved ones present. There are no words to explain it. I could tell Anne was sensing that peace that comes with the Sacrament, and I couldn’t be more happy for her (and John). Here are some pictures to recap the weekend!!

Davey joined Anne and I for our traditional Friday morning mass at the basilica followed by coffee:
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See the building in the background!!??? Count 8 floors up…that was our apartment! Take me back…
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This handsome broad spent most of the time at the pool! He’s all mine, ladies. 😉
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I asked Baby Hiatt if we should live in St. Louis. I felt multiple kicks….I’ll take that as a “yes.”
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There is no other way to start Anne’s wedding day than with coffee and breakfast at a local coffee joint!
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The bride herself:
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Look who we found! SISTER!
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This rowdy table was in the back corner for a good reason…
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Anyone who can spin Anne around the dance floor has my vote…
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The WUPT crew!
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Ahh….seriously, take me back.