Davey told me the other day that it bothered him when I complained.

I immediately wanted to cry, call a friend, and complain about how Davey is too happy all the time. If you know Davey, then you know he never complains. He hasn’t had the easiest life, but he has never complained about any challenges he has faced. He just deals with them and moves on.

So naturally, I thought, “Sure I complain, but he is the weird one for not complaining ever.”

But then I remembered that when I chose to marry Davey, I chose to make it my life’s work to be a good person for him. I decided that I needed to work on being more positive.

As women, I think we rationalize our complaints by saying things like, “I just need to vent” or “It’s good for me to let it all out” or “I need a good cry.” I suppose there is some truth to all these statements, but maybe I take it too far sometimes. When complaining takes up the majority of my conversations, something needs to change.

But how do we, as women, find that balance between “venting” and “complaining too much.” How do we make sure we let it all out before it “bottles up”, but we don’t let it consume us?

I think it has something to do with being grateful, even in the small moments. I heard a TED talk about how gratitude leads to happiness, and I think this should be my first step in working to spend less time complaining. I need to recognize the things in my life that I am grateful for and focus on them.

I have to work Memorial day, but thank God I have a job.
I live in a city where I have yet to meet a group of friends, but thank God my husband is a good friend to me.
My feet hurt at the end of the day and my back aches from bending over to set up obstacles for my patients, but thank God for giving me the opportunity to carry a child.
I miss seeing my Grandma on a regular basis, but thank God I can still call her whenever I want.
I have student loans coming out of my ears, but thank God for the opportunity to make people feel better every day.
The highway I take to work is closed, and it now takes me twice as long to get to work, but thank you God for showing me the back roads of Minneapolis.

When I think of things this way, I really have nothing to complain about.