Tag: marriage

5 things to consider when looking for Mr. Right

Photo by Honey and Salt {http://honeyandsalt.us}
Photo by Honey and Salt {http://honeyandsalt.us}

I feel like I really lucked out with my Mr. Right. I mean, I really lucked out.

The other day, my husband cooked dinner. Usually whoever cooks gets to sit out of doing the dishes. But on this particular night, he even did the dishes. I wanted to sing on the rooftops, scream it to every girl I know, “THERE IS A MAN IN THE WORLD WHO COOKS AND DOES DISHES!” When I realized that I was getting overly excited about this situation, I suddenly became extremely sad for girls all over. I mean, we get excited when we find a man who will do dishes. That’s sad, right? What are our expectations for men?

Then I thought about all the other reasons I feel like I lucked out with my Mr. Right: He cleans (himself and the house), he has a good work ethic, he is financially disciplined, he considers and respects what I want, and I genuinely love him.

This shouldn’t be lucking out. This should be the norm.

No wonder why we have TV shows where ABC finds one guy with these qualities and has 25 women pursue him.

I wanted to write this post for two reasons. The first reason is that I want girls all over to know there are men who can take care of life issues, and those are the men they should choose to be with. Second, I want men all over to realize that girls are now going to look for guys who can take care of life issues, so it’s time you all start figuring it out.

Here are five things to consider when choosing your Mr. Right:

1. Cleanliness. When was his last haircut? Scratch that….what I mean is, does he look scraggly? If he can’t take care of his hygiene, how is he going to take care of his life? What does his home look like? Does he own cleaning products? If he doesn’t know what a Swiffer is by now, you can bet he won’t be the one to think of cleaning the floor once you’re married. I’m not suggesting he needs to get a mani/pedis, but its important that some standards exist.

2. Work Ethic. There is a lot to be said for a man who can find a job, keep a job, and excel at his job. It shows he can be dedicated to something. He can work for something. He doesn’t give up when things get tough. Even if he has had a hard time keeping a job (this economy is crazy), does he follow a dream of his? Does he pursue something?

3. Financial Discipline. He doesn’t have to be the richest man in the world; that’s not what’s important. But if he is older than 22 and hasn’t considered a savings account, you might want to see where his financial priorities lie. Before getting married, ask him if he has credit card debt. Ask him how much he has in savings. I can’t begin to tell you how much this will affect your marriage, even if you are doing separate accounts. If he blows his account at the casino, on a big screen TV, or on a new car, the only thing you have for your family is what you are contributing. You want to be able to fully trust that he will be honest with his finances, and you want to feel safe with him having some control over yours. He doesn’t have to be the breadwinner, but he should be able to spend and save wisely.

4. Consideration and respect. It’s okay if you don’t agree on everything, but does he respect your thoughts and opinions? Does he ask you what you want? You know the saying, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.” Men will never understand the purpose of a throw pillow. But does he make an effort to see your point of view?

5. Love. My husband is my favorite person in the world. I wouldn’t have married anyone else. If I were single until age 75, then met my husband, my life would be complete. I would rather be single my whole life to meet Davey at the end than to have been with another man the whole time. There is no rush…just don’t settle. Mr. Right is worth waiting for.

So, in my last plea for good-standing men, let’s heighten our expectations of what we deserve, and in response, the men will have to rise to the occasion.

Photo by Honey and Salt {honeyandsalt.us}
Photo by Honey and Salt {honeyandsalt.us}

Cross country skiing

We made one rule for ourselves when we moved to frigid Minnesota: DO NOT HIBERNATE.

It is hard to follow this rule.

Let me tell you about our non-hibernating weekend.

Friday, we tried Minneapolis’ pizza at Pizza Luce, and it was amazing. They have a wide variety of unique pizza toppings and just the right amount of garlic. Mmmmm. We will be going back.

Saturday, our brand new couches were delivered. This was a dream come true for me, and a long time coming! My dream to have brand new couches is a blog post on its own, so I will spare the details now and just let you know that my life was made this Saturday when our couches were delivered.

After laying on the couches for 30 minutes in pure bliss, we rented a truck at our new favorite store, Menard’s. If you haven’t been to Menard’s recently, I encourage you to go and browse around. They have everything you can possibly imagine. How did I not know about this before?

We drove the Menard’s pick-up truck all around Minneapolis and St. Paul to pick up 4 pieces of furniture that we found on craigslist. All 4 pieces of furniture were free….free I tell you! For the low price of a Menard’s rental truck, we got a new dresser, new armoir, new desk, and new dining room cabinet. Well, maybe not new like my couches are new, but you know what I mean. Needless to say, we were in house heaven on Saturday. Finally our little 1892 rental house was feeling like home.

We broke down and hibernated on Saturday night, watching movies on our new couches and eating oreo pie.

After church on Sunday, we chanted, “Do not hibernate” and drove out to Carver Park Reserve to try out cross country skiing. It was a blast! Baby Hiatt must have been wondering what was happening in the world… it was a little shaky! This may sound strange, but we learned how to cross country ski by following children. Kids mess up all the time, and the adults around them give them pointers. So there we were, flipping up our ear muffs to listen to the tips the adults were giving the children. Here are some pics. Isn’t Minnesota beautiful? And my husband…..hubba hubba 🙂

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Stay tuned for my next post: Important information you should know about your IT band! (What is my IT band, you ask??? Well…..like I said….Stay tuned!)

Married Life Part I: Living without television

When Davey and I were engaged, we made the socially offbeat decision to start our married life without cable. Someone recently said to me, “I have never heard of such a thing,” and I am guessing you may be thinking the same thing. Let me tell you about the advantages and disadvantages:

Disadvantage Scenario Number One: We arrive to work and our coworkers and clients ask us through yawns, “Wow, did you see the World Series game last night?” We refrain from saying the first thing that comes to mind which is, “Oh, was that last night?” and have to make something up like, “Yes, I couldn’t believe that one play.”

Disadvantage Scenario Number Two: We arrive to work to find out that tornadoes, hurricanes, and monsoons will all be sweeping through Indiana according to the show-stopping weather reports. Darn, we should have closed our windows at the apartment.

Disadvantage Scenario Number Three: It seemed as if this year, more than any other, 110% of people who went downtown for Halloween were dressed up like some television character. After asking 5 people, “What are you dressed up as?” I learned to say, “Love the costume! You look just like him!”

Advantage Number One: We have been reading. A LOT. We even got a library card. I had avoided the library ever since I was in elementary school. Unknowingly, my repressed memories of my elementary school librarian’s thick eyebrows, muted mustache (she’s a woman), and scratchy voice telling me, “Once again, Kaylee, you are late in returning your books. Are you a slow reader? We have a special class for you” was keeping me away. Now that I have faced my fears, I love the library.

Here is Davey studying away:

Library

Advantage Number Two: We have invested our time in cooking and sharing meals together. Davey has made turkey chili, tortilla pizzas, and something called “Davey’s Special” (I still can’t figure out what that was). I have made chicken tetrazzini, butternut squash soup, and chicken cacciatore. We cherish our meal times together; it’s my favorite time of day.

Advantage Number Three: A number of times, we have simply sat on our couch with a cup of chai tea telling stories about our days and coming up with new adventures. I truly believe we would have lost these precious conversations in new episodes of the New Girl or that one play of the World Series.

I am so thankful for our decision to live unplugged as we start our life together.

Saturday Morning