Tag: marriage

Monday Musings |Why you should marry a good man (and what I mean by ‘good’)

The combination of a wedding at the end of this week and my husband’s birthday yesterday has me thinking of love and my husband…and how much I love my husband.

I do some really dumb things, but marrying him was one of my more brilliant ideas. Here’s why:

He knows how to say, “I’m sorry”…which ends up getting said a lot in marriage. He recognizes he isn’t perfect. He admits he’s wrong when he’s wrong.

He doesn’t let me always be right. Even though I am. (j to the k). He rarely gets really upset, so when he does, I find myself hanging my head because I know I did or said something wrong.

He’s energetic. Energy in a grown man translates to the lawn getting mowed, the groceries getting shopped, the bills getting paid, the baby getting bathed. Things get done around here. (well, he always starts them and does the hard parts, and I usually finish them)

He sees marriage as something that is more than him and me. He treats me well because he considers it his vocation, not just because he thinks I’m pretty or witty or interesting (because sometimes I’m not any of those things).

He is fearful in a manly way. He is fearful of not being able to provide and in his fear, I find stability. And he finds motivation. I know my career isn’t the only thing upholding our family financially, and that’s pretty awesome.

He respects me and tries to love me the way Christ loves me.

He talks to me. If he hates doing dishes, he tells me. If he needs to be alone and watch some show (usually with people wearing dirty brown clothes i.e. Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Peaky Blinders), he tells me so.

He thanks me for loving him. He doesn’t expect love or feel like he deserves love. He recognizes his faults and sees that I love him regardless.

Which I do. I love him so much.

Photo by Honey and Salt
Photo by Honey and Salt

I wrote about 5 Things to Consider When Looking for Mr. Right 4 months after we got married! Check it out!

Life Lately

lake minnetonka, wayzata

Many times in my life I have said to myself “Two more weeks.” Two more weeks until graduation. Two more weeks until moving to a new state, starting college, starting a new job, going on an exciting trip. Two more weeks until getting married, leaving on a honeymoon. Two more weeks until moving in with my husband. Two more weeks…

But thinking “two more weeks until I get to see my baby face to face…”

There’s nothing quite like that feeling.

I am sitting on that feeling now.

I hope our baby knows how much Davey and I love each other.

I keep thinking that — I guess it’s because I feel like this life — this human — was created because of that love. I want the baby to know that s/he is living because of love.

Enough mushy-gushy I suppose.

Here come a A GAZILLION pictures of our life lately. I haven’t updated in a while so pictures have just been piling up! The pictures are all iPhone photos because I dare not unpack the nice cameras from the hospital bag and use the charges on various things happening in our life, thus missing the precious first moments of baby’s life. So here is a iPhone dump for you if you ever saw one.

Davey has been doing important things in life like hooking in the car seat and vacuuming. I have been doing even more important things like getting pedicures and taking naps.

carseat

husband vacuuming

I have also been LOVING on our little town (Hopkins, MN). There is so much to do here! Any my evening walks are absolutely gorgeous! It’s such a different town than it is in wintertime!

hopkins, MN

hopkins, mn

We even have free concerts every Thursday in a small park:

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And coming up in a couple weeks is a two weeks Raspberry Festival. When we moved here, we had no idea we chose to live in the cutest little American town that ever existed.

We have also ventured to nearby towns for art walks and festivals. Here are some pictures from the Wayzata Art Experience:

wayzata art experience

wayzata art experience

We took a break and enjoyed the view of Lake Minnetonka that day:

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Over the fourth of July, we went to Lake Calhoun and sat on the beach reading books all day. No pictures of that time though because we were so busy with our noses in our books and people watching.

Yesterday, we went to Lake Harriet for a free concert. On our way, we spotted $2 trolley rides. If you know my husband, then you know anything that appeals to a 10 year old child will appeal to him, so we signed up for the trolley. Since no one was in line with us, I kept thinking, “well, this will be kinda romantic. A trolley ride around the lakes with my husband…” but then I quickly realized Davey would spend most of the time with his arm out the window waving to passersby. This is a perfect example of our life in public: Davey does something that I think people may think is very strange for a 28 year old man….and then they don’t think it’s strange at all. Adults were waving back to Davey with almost more joy and excitement than if they were waving back to amuse a small child.

trolley, linden hills, lake harriet trolley, linden hills, lake harriet

Once the trolley ride was over, we continued on our way to the Lake Harriet Band Shell to listen to some live music.

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So that’s our life lately. Keeping busy exploring our new city while waiting anxiously to meet our baby face to face. Life is pretty good.

Dating my husband

Lake Calhoun

Davey and I are cherishing our time together as just the two of us. In just 7 weeks we will be a family of 3! We are going on as many “dates” as we can because we have no idea what life with a baby will be like.

Last night, we scoped out the best Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, then took a walk around Lake Calhoun. This city is a completely different city in warmer weather. It’s so vibrant, cultural, adventurous, and beautiful!

Here is Lake Calhoun at sunset:

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

This morning we walked around the downtown Minneapolis Farmer’s Market. Davey asked on the way there why I love farmer’s markets but I hate the grocery store. I told him it’s mainly because it’s outside and there is better people watching. These also happen to be the only 2 reasons why I enjoy the zoo.

Look at these love birds:

farmers market

farmers market

You know you’re in the upper midwest when you see rhubarb every where you turn! Mmmmm….

farmers market

farmers market

It’s been a good weekend so far. 🙂

The {Grateful} Project

Davey told me the other day that it bothered him when I complained.

I immediately wanted to cry, call a friend, and complain about how Davey is too happy all the time. If you know Davey, then you know he never complains. He hasn’t had the easiest life, but he has never complained about any challenges he has faced. He just deals with them and moves on.

So naturally, I thought, “Sure I complain, but he is the weird one for not complaining ever.”

But then I remembered that when I chose to marry Davey, I chose to make it my life’s work to be a good person for him. I decided that I needed to work on being more positive.

As women, I think we rationalize our complaints by saying things like, “I just need to vent” or “It’s good for me to let it all out” or “I need a good cry.” I suppose there is some truth to all these statements, but maybe I take it too far sometimes. When complaining takes up the majority of my conversations, something needs to change.

But how do we, as women, find that balance between “venting” and “complaining too much.” How do we make sure we let it all out before it “bottles up”, but we don’t let it consume us?

I think it has something to do with being grateful, even in the small moments. I heard a TED talk about how gratitude leads to happiness, and I think this should be my first step in working to spend less time complaining. I need to recognize the things in my life that I am grateful for and focus on them.

I have to work Memorial day, but thank God I have a job.
I live in a city where I have yet to meet a group of friends, but thank God my husband is a good friend to me.
My feet hurt at the end of the day and my back aches from bending over to set up obstacles for my patients, but thank God for giving me the opportunity to carry a child.
I miss seeing my Grandma on a regular basis, but thank God I can still call her whenever I want.
I have student loans coming out of my ears, but thank God for the opportunity to make people feel better every day.
The highway I take to work is closed, and it now takes me twice as long to get to work, but thank you God for showing me the back roads of Minneapolis.

When I think of things this way, I really have nothing to complain about.

Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt

St. Louis has my heart

There is nothing like time spent with friends that refuels the soul. This past weekend was one that makes me day dream at work and count down the weeks until I get to see them all again. Not to mention, watching one of my best friends marry an incredible man is a dream come true. I literally cried my eyes out watching her walk down the aisle– after getting married last September, I feel so much joy for my friends when they share that moment with their husband—locking eyes as they walk down the aisle with all their loved ones present. There are no words to explain it. I could tell Anne was sensing that peace that comes with the Sacrament, and I couldn’t be more happy for her (and John). Here are some pictures to recap the weekend!!

Davey joined Anne and I for our traditional Friday morning mass at the basilica followed by coffee:
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See the building in the background!!??? Count 8 floors up…that was our apartment! Take me back…
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This handsome broad spent most of the time at the pool! He’s all mine, ladies. 😉
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I asked Baby Hiatt if we should live in St. Louis. I felt multiple kicks….I’ll take that as a “yes.”
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There is no other way to start Anne’s wedding day than with coffee and breakfast at a local coffee joint!
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The bride herself:
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Look who we found! SISTER!
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This rowdy table was in the back corner for a good reason…
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Anyone who can spin Anne around the dance floor has my vote…
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The WUPT crew!
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Ahh….seriously, take me back.

Feeling loved

Living so far away from family and friends makes any type of contact with them extra meaningful. We had two fun surprises this week that reminded us how grateful we are for our loved ones.

The first surprise was coming home on Thursday night to find a package from our sweet friend, Megan, with a picture frame for our ultrasound picture. So sweet of her to think of us during this time. Since this is the first addition to the nursery, it spurred in me the desire to start looking for a crib and rocking chair! Send me any pins of cribs and rocking chairs you like on Pinterest!

The second surprise was coming home on Friday night to the news that our wedding video was uploaded on Northernlight Filmworks Blog. It was so neat to watch the video on Friday night and relive our wedding day. We will show the video to Baby Hiatt one day. 🙂

When I married my husband

For some reason, older women decide a young engaged girl should know “something will go wrong on the wedding day.” I heard horror stories of the DJs’ speakers being blown out, the roof of the reception venue leaking due to rain, the limo running one hour late, the priest getting in a car accident….

So I just knew something was going to go wrong on our wedding day, and I told myself to just focus on seeing Davey at the end of the aisle.

And guess what…nothing went wrong. I got to marry my husband.

The memory of our wedding day is so sweet and unforgettable. We are thankful to our photographers, Stevi and Andrew Clark of Honey and Salt, for capturing our special day exactly as we would have wanted it captured. All the photos in this post are their work. Since they did such an incredible job, I am going to try to let the pictures tell a thousand words.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

My best friends, my mom, my mother in law, my dad, and I all got ready at my parents’ home, just as I had always dreamed.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

I was so excited to show my dad his daughter as a bride. I got a little teary when he walked out the back door to see me.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

He didn’t want to touch me because he was afraid he was going to “mess me up”!

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

It was so calming and peaceful to pray the rosary with my bridesmaids and parents before the ceremony.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

My grandparent’s love story is one that Davey and I both admire so much. Davey was able to get to know my grandfather in his last 5 months of life; I am so grateful for that time. Grandpa told me before he died how much he loved Davey. Here is a picture of my grandma watching me walk down the aisle. I love making her proud.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

There is nothing like looking at everyone you love watch you walk toward the man of your dreams. I had an indescribable sense of peace, joy, and gratitude for everything I have been given.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

Before I met Davey, I had a recurring dream of walking down the aisle, then bolting before I could see my groom’s face. Weird, huh? On our wedding day, I wanted to run to Davey.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

Just before this next picture, Davey said, “You’re my wife!”

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

Our reception was in an old church that had taken out the pews. We used the sanctuary as our dining and dancing space and the choir loft as the cocktail space.

Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt
Photo credit Honey and Salt

Around 11:15pm, Davey and I left the reception. We ran under a tunnel made by the arms of all our guests. I don’t have any photos of that moment, but it’s one of the clearest in my mind. It felt like we were getting hugged by everyone we loved. I looked back at everyone right before we walked out the door, and it was as if time stood still—maybe because I wanted it to stand still— I saw everyone looking at us cheering, clapping, waving, crying, holding drinks in the air. My husband reached back for me, grabbed my hand, and we walked out the door, both sad and happy at the same time. Sad to leave our loved ones–happiest for the best life we could have imagined for ourselves.

When I dated my husband

It’s the week of love! In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I want to share a love story with you. Ours! I love a good love story, and ours happens to be my favorite.

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Davey and I both grew up in Geist, a reservoir town in an Indianapolis suburb. He lived on one side of the reservoir, and I lived on the other. The reservoir separated us into rival high schools and connected us through our community’s church.

I knew of Davey in high school because Davey is…well…how should I say it…spirited. Energetic. Funny. Basically, he makes himself known. I, on the other hand, spent most of my high school career trying NOT to be known because my hair was too frizzy, and I needed to study. So Davey never really knew me.

Seven years after high school, I had travelled the world and lived in 9 different cities for more than two months at a time. I had become resilient, adaptive, adventurous, and more confident. It dawned on me that it didn’t matter that I had frizzy hair, and I no longer needed to study because I got my degrees.

So I accepted a friend’s request to help out at the church for a youth retreat when I moved back to Indianapolis, and that’s where I met Davey, who was also helping out. Believe it or not, Davey told me he liked my hair that weekend.

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So we started dating and quickly realized this was something. Something life changing and exciting. We knew we were never going to be “Davey” or “Kaylee” anymore, but we would always be “Davey and Kaylee.”

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We went about dating in a very traditional way. We didn’t live together or stay at each other’s places. Every relationship is different and living apart while we were dating just worked for us. We are both reflective people, and the time we had apart from each other was just as important as the time we had with each other. It gave us an opportunity to reflect on who we want to be for the other person so we could be the best version of ourselves. Since we fell in love quickly, it also gave us the opportunity to slow things down and go about things rationally so we weren’t blinded by our strong feelings toward each other.

Davey spent a lot of time with my grandpa while he was in hospice
Davey spent a lot of time with my grandpa while he was in hospice

Our work shifts were opposite, so we were very creative on finding times to see each other like over lunch breaks or meeting for early morning masses. We learned how to make time for each other and how to make our relationship a priority, which has made a good impact on our marriage. I was literally so excited every single time I got to see him. In a way, the rush I got walking down the aisle toward him on our wedding day felt like a familiar rush I got every time I got to see him when we were dating. I think I have been walking down the aisle toward him my whole life.

So when Davey proposed on March 9, 2013, I accepted. Ill post about that tomorrow.

17 weeks pregnant

I shared a room with my sister growing up. Our brothers’ rooms were right at the end of the hallway next to ours. At bedtime, my dad would stand outside our doors and say a “Hail Mary”. Our small voices would repeat each line after him.

After he walked away, I would always pray that I could be like Mary. I told God that I would be courageous enough to do whatever He wanted me to do, and I asked him to use me for something great, like he did with Mary.

As I grew up, life took some twists and turns, and I realized it’s not always very easy to know what God is asking of me. I spent more time doubting and questioning than I did saying, “I am the handmaid of the Lord.”

Through all the doubting and questioning, I still imagined that prayerful decisions I made in my life would fill me with an overwhelming sense of peace and allow me to reflect on how all my previous experiences have led me to fulfill the purpose God has for me.

Last Sunday in church was one of those occasions.

I have sang “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary” countless times in life, but that song takes on a different meaning at 17 weeks pregnant. This Sunday in church, I fully recognized that God has indeed prepared me to be a Sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true. He is using me and my body to fully create another human.

With thanksgiving, I’ll be a living, sactuary, all for you.

Sometimes we don’t know where we are going…or what we are praying toward…but somehow it all comes together. And that’s when we get a glimpse into God’s plan.

New use for old entertainment center

Davey and I were in need of closet space for our upstairs hallway and our bedroom, so we searched Craiglist for some old entertainment centers, and voila! We have closet space!

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Davey was proud of his Craigslist finds.

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I was happy because we moved Davey’s clothes into the entertainment center, and I now have my own closet. 😉