Davis Family Fund

When I first heard about this family, I would not let myself read more or watch this video (posted below) because I thought it would conjure up a lot of fear in me. After a couple of days, the story still called out to me, and I gathered up enough courage (or call it curiosity) to listen to what this couple had to say.

Although the video depicts two parents grieving over the death of their infant, it left me with a surprising sense of awareness of the life I am carrying in pregnancy. And with that, gratitude.

The most compelling theme of this video is the recognition that their child’s life did not start with birth. It started with conception. From the womb, the infant altered the course of the parents’ lives and made them more joyful. There is no measure for the impact of a life.

I really commend the strength and the faith of this couple. I can sense their closeness with the Lord.

Click this link:

Davis Family Fund

Dating my husband

Lake Calhoun

Davey and I are cherishing our time together as just the two of us. In just 7 weeks we will be a family of 3! We are going on as many “dates” as we can because we have no idea what life with a baby will be like.

Last night, we scoped out the best Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, then took a walk around Lake Calhoun. This city is a completely different city in warmer weather. It’s so vibrant, cultural, adventurous, and beautiful!

Here is Lake Calhoun at sunset:

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

Lake Calhoun

This morning we walked around the downtown Minneapolis Farmer’s Market. Davey asked on the way there why I love farmer’s markets but I hate the grocery store. I told him it’s mainly because it’s outside and there is better people watching. These also happen to be the only 2 reasons why I enjoy the zoo.

Look at these love birds:

farmers market

farmers market

You know you’re in the upper midwest when you see rhubarb every where you turn! Mmmmm….

farmers market

farmers market

It’s been a good weekend so far. 🙂

{Health and Body} Pregnancy and Back Pain

back pain, pregnancy

Lately I have been eating, sleeping, and dreaming pregnancy. So when I thought about what I want my readers to know about {health and body} this week, backaches during pregnancy seemed to be an appropriate topic.

Does anyone else’s husband break out into this song when you say to him, “My back aches…”?

No? Just my husband? Figures.

What is it about pregnancy that makes our backs hurt, sometimes to the point of sending shooting pain down our legs?

There are a million-ca-trillion things going on in our bodies during pregnancy that contribute to backaches.

One of the main reasons for back pain is our changing hormones. Yes, you read it right, those little buggers not only bring us into an emotional roller coaster and make us think cruel thoughts. The hormone relaxin also makes our ligaments looser, causing instability in our spine and pelvic area. Instability can lead to pain.

Weight gain, especially rapid weight gain, puts strain on our body by increasing pressure through all our joints. We are supposed to be gaining 25-35 pounds in pregnancy–sheesh! Think about how that weight can pull down on our backs, reducing the space between our vertebrae and causing compression of various nerves and blood vessels.

As pregnancy progresses, our cute bumps start to pull our backs forward leading to an extension force (as described here) The force that pulls our low backs forward also leads to pain.

Additionally we have lost our “natural back brace“, that is, our abdominals. Our abdominals are being stretched to the max, so no matter how hard we try, it’s nearly impossible to use our abdominals to support our backs during daily activities like walking, washing dishes, bending over to pick things up from the floor, and going up and down stairs.

So what’s a pregnant woman to do (besides listening to her husband’s version of Ciara ‘Got Me Good’ daily)? Refer to my previous post on the Top 3 Exercises Every Pregnant Woman Should Do. Each exercise can help relieve back pain and promote stability in our pelvic girdle and spine

back pain, pregnancy, pregnant .

***The content of www.kayleemay.com is for informational purposes only. The information presented is not to be taken as professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are having pain, or seeking medical advice, talk to your health care provider. Do not delay in seeking treatment because of information you have read on www.kayleemay.com. Taking recommendations presented on www.kayleemay.com is solely at your own risk***

The {Grateful} Project

Davey told me the other day that it bothered him when I complained.

I immediately wanted to cry, call a friend, and complain about how Davey is too happy all the time. If you know Davey, then you know he never complains. He hasn’t had the easiest life, but he has never complained about any challenges he has faced. He just deals with them and moves on.

So naturally, I thought, “Sure I complain, but he is the weird one for not complaining ever.”

But then I remembered that when I chose to marry Davey, I chose to make it my life’s work to be a good person for him. I decided that I needed to work on being more positive.

As women, I think we rationalize our complaints by saying things like, “I just need to vent” or “It’s good for me to let it all out” or “I need a good cry.” I suppose there is some truth to all these statements, but maybe I take it too far sometimes. When complaining takes up the majority of my conversations, something needs to change.

But how do we, as women, find that balance between “venting” and “complaining too much.” How do we make sure we let it all out before it “bottles up”, but we don’t let it consume us?

I think it has something to do with being grateful, even in the small moments. I heard a TED talk about how gratitude leads to happiness, and I think this should be my first step in working to spend less time complaining. I need to recognize the things in my life that I am grateful for and focus on them.

I have to work Memorial day, but thank God I have a job.
I live in a city where I have yet to meet a group of friends, but thank God my husband is a good friend to me.
My feet hurt at the end of the day and my back aches from bending over to set up obstacles for my patients, but thank God for giving me the opportunity to carry a child.
I miss seeing my Grandma on a regular basis, but thank God I can still call her whenever I want.
I have student loans coming out of my ears, but thank God for the opportunity to make people feel better every day.
The highway I take to work is closed, and it now takes me twice as long to get to work, but thank you God for showing me the back roads of Minneapolis.

When I think of things this way, I really have nothing to complain about.

Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt
Photo Credit Honey and Salt

A weekend for the books

I am officially starting to enjoy it in the great north (is Minnesota the great north?) This may coincide with the fact that we have officially gone one whole month without snow. That’s HUGE. I was beginning to get stir crazy. I even told Davey, “If it snows one more time, I am making the executive family decision…we’re moving.” I guess God doesn’t want us to move because once I said that, it stopped snowing.

To celebrate the weather and opportunity to be outside without the threat of frost bite on any exposed skin, we packed our car with a weekend full of pulled pork, snacks, beers, and games and headed to a cabin in the middle of no where. Quite literally, the middle of nowhere– although we did have an interesting neighbor named Neil with a dog that we eventually nick-named Dirty Murphy. We met up with our friends Matt and Toi (they’re getting married!) and spent our days hiking, playing Cards Against Humanity, and talking about anything and everything. It was a blast, and I may or may not have teared up when we left because I just didn’t want to leave…Some weekends are just like that. If I could bottle it up and step into the bottle on any given day to relive it, I would.

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St. Louis has my heart

There is nothing like time spent with friends that refuels the soul. This past weekend was one that makes me day dream at work and count down the weeks until I get to see them all again. Not to mention, watching one of my best friends marry an incredible man is a dream come true. I literally cried my eyes out watching her walk down the aisle– after getting married last September, I feel so much joy for my friends when they share that moment with their husband—locking eyes as they walk down the aisle with all their loved ones present. There are no words to explain it. I could tell Anne was sensing that peace that comes with the Sacrament, and I couldn’t be more happy for her (and John). Here are some pictures to recap the weekend!!

Davey joined Anne and I for our traditional Friday morning mass at the basilica followed by coffee:
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See the building in the background!!??? Count 8 floors up…that was our apartment! Take me back…
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This handsome broad spent most of the time at the pool! He’s all mine, ladies. 😉
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I asked Baby Hiatt if we should live in St. Louis. I felt multiple kicks….I’ll take that as a “yes.”
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There is no other way to start Anne’s wedding day than with coffee and breakfast at a local coffee joint!
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The bride herself:
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Look who we found! SISTER!
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This rowdy table was in the back corner for a good reason…
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Anyone who can spin Anne around the dance floor has my vote…
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The WUPT crew!
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Ahh….seriously, take me back.

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

There is some strange thing about pregnancy that makes people feel like they can ask really personal questions. Although I love being pregnant, I kind of hate how I feel like everyone around me is thinking about how my body is changing. The best way to deal with it is to laugh it off so that I don’t go home every night and eat a pint of ice cream to repress the awkward conversations about my boobs with complete strangers. So, in the spirit of pregnancy humor to deal with my emotions, here are:

pregnant, pregnancy, maternity,

{that have all been said to me}

We’re emotional for God’s sake!

1. Are you sure you aren’t having twins?

2. When’s your due date? In three months?! I thought you were going to say ‘next week’.

3. Wow! You have really grown over the past week. Especially your face.

4. Have you noticed how huge your boobs have gotten? I bet you can’t see your feet because your boobs are so big.

5. I think you’re having a girl because they say girls steal all your beauty.

6. I think you’re having a girl because you are carrying very wide in the abdomen.

7. They say your hair is supposed to get shinier with the prenatal vitamins…are you taking your vitamins?

8. Was this planned?

9. Let me see how swollen your feet are.

10. How often do you pee?

And to hear what it’s like in a pregnant hormonal mind, here were my reactions to the questions:

1. In my mind: Pretty sure they have technology to tell you if you’re having twins, Jack Ass.
Out loud: Well, the ultrasound only showed one!

2. In my mind: Thanks a lot for calling me fat.
Out loud: Yeah, well hopefully it goes quick.

3. In my mind: …(I was speechless)
Out loud: … (I was speechless)

4. In my mind: Sir, every woman wears a bra fitted to a certain size, so how would I even get dressed in the morning without realizing the size of my girls!? I don’t need you to point it out.
Out loud: I can still see my feet. And tie my shoes.

5. In my mind: You’re not pregnant, who stole your beauty?
Out loud: Yeah, maybe! A girl would be fun!

6. In my mind: Ouch.
Out loud: Yeah, maybe! A girl would be fun!

7. In my mind: Okay, I get it, people. I don’t have shiny hair and maybe a small fetus is somehow sucking out all my beauty.
Out loud: Don’t miss a day!

8. In my mind: You’re asking if my husband and I check “have baby” off a to-do list like it’s a chore?
Out loud: We are so happy to be pregnant.

9. In my mind: What kind of person wants to look at someone’s feet?
Out loud: I only show those at the circus!

10. In my mind: I feel like I’m peeing right now.
Out loud: I need to use the restroom.

With 12 weeks to go, I am sure there will be many more of these gems–I’ll keep you posted so I don’t cry myself to sleep after my nightly pint of ice cream and bra shopping.

Happiness

running

Somewhere between college and #ihavesomanybillstopay aka adulthood, I lost the drive (and time) to keep up with the latest new music. I used to go for runs just to listen to a new CD (I can’t wait to explain to Baby Hiatt in 10 years what a CD is). And when the iPod was invented, I created the greatest playlists to fit my mood for my runs….which may explain why I am a slow runner (I was just an emo kid trying to hash out my emotions on some trail). But something happened–maybe work? a career? Katy Perry?–and I just can’t keep up with new music.

Now, my workouts are to the soundtrack of opinionated TED talkers. If I love the TED talk, I go home to Davey and spend twice as long explaining the talk to him than it took the speaker. If I hate the TED talk, I argue in my head with them for 20-30 minutes and come up with my own talk to rival theirs.

Here is one I love and thought was worth sharing:

Hope you can find happiness today. 🙂

{Health and Body} The Ergonomics of Sleep

I love sleep. My husband can tell you that I take my sleep time very seriously. My well being (and his) depends on how well I sleep.

But I have noticed with my patients that sleep can have a negative impact on our muscles and bones if we sleep in the wrong position.

the ergonomics of sleep

With every evaluation I perform at the clinic, I ask “What is your preferred sleeping position?” because the position we lay in for a long period of time is the position that directs the way our body moves during the day.

Take for example what I like to call the “road kill” position, a favorite among young women:

sleep

If you like to sleep in this position, you are all over a mess the next day. My neck hurts just looking at this! People who sleep in this position traditionally face the same way each night, which overly stretches their neck. Upon evaluation, I notice that they have too much neck rotation one direction and not enough rotation the other direction. The road kill sleeper may also stick one arm under a pillow, meaning that night after night, they over-stretch their rotator cuff muscles (the shoulder stabilizers), making the shoulder weak, loose, and often painful.

The road kill sleeper also comes into the physical therapy clinic with low back pain and hip pain because the asymmetrical alignment of the hips rotates the pelvis and low back.

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Night after night, this makes the back overly flexible into rotation, meaning that the back will tend to rotate during daily activities (like walking, climbing stairs). The lumbar spine (low back) is not designed for rotation, so rotating the back during daily activities leads to pain. When a young woman tells me she has “sciatic pain” (a generic term for pain that is referred down one leg), chances are that she sleeps with her legs in an asymmetrical position.

There are a number of ways we sleep, and night after night, we allow our bodies to adapt and form into our preferred sleeping position. So what’s the best position to sleep in?

Every person is different, but it’s good to keep symmetry in mind. The legs should be symmetrical, the neck should be in a neutral position, and the low back should be in a neutral position (not too bent, not too extended, not too rotated). Try laying on your side with 1-2 pillows between your knees (all the way down to your shins). If you have shoulder or neck pain, it’s a good idea to hug a pillow with your top arm. Make sure your bottom arm isn’t consumed under your head pillow….you’re just asking for your hand to go numb because you’re impinging on nerves.

sleep

Changing the way you sleep may seem an impossible task. You’ll likely wake up in the road kill position with the extra pillows on the floor — but keep trying. If we start protecting our bodies now, they will last us a lot longer!

***The content of www.kayleemay.com is for informational purposes only. The information presented is not to be taken as professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are having pain, or seeking medical advice, talk to your health care provider. Do not delay in seeking treatment because of information you have read on www.kayleemay.com. Taking recommendations presented on www.kayleemay.com is solely at your own risk***